Raising A Daughter . . . The Pressure Is On!

When Skyler and I first found out we were pregnant, I am not going to lie, we hoped that our little one would be a boy.  We "tried" for a boy . . . as silly as that sounds, we were given many tips on how it was actually possibly to increase our odds of having a boy.  I was the oldest girl, and had one younger brother.  I always thought it would be great to have an older brother, so that was my rationale.  Skyler is the third child with two older sisters and one younger.  His father is also the only boy, and had four sisters.  So Skyler had thought it would be nice to have a boy right off the bat!  When we found out our little baby growing inside of me was a girl, we knew God had other plans!  We completely trust Him, and to be honest, we knew we would be excited either way!  Skyler, immediately got pumped about the thought of having a little girl.  I was happy too . . . but for some reason I suddenly felt an incredible amount of pressure!  Thinking of having a boy was pretty stress free!  Skyler is an amazing man, and I could just see all these little boys emulating their father!  He would be such a great model for them of a strong Christian man!  They would grow up to love the Lord, and I could see them adoring me just like their daddy does!  I would be a fun mom, full of spunk, and my little boys (despite my imperfections) would rise up and call me blessed!  A girl . . . did not quite conjure up the same thoughts.  The reality that I would be the model hit me hard!  I even cried one night as I expressed my concern to Skyler.  How am I supposed to raise our little girl to be a sweet, beautiful, Godly woman when so often I am critical, sassy, and some days just getting into the Word is a struggle?  How am I supposed to teach my daughter about the art of homemaking when most days our bed goes unmade, I leave piles of clothes all over the place, dinner is eggs and toast because I didn't plan ahead to thaw something out, and I have laundry that must be redone because I forgot to take it out of the washer!  Skyler assured me that I was an excellent wife, and I would be a wonderful momma as well (he's too sweet to me!)!  Although, his reassurance was nice, I found my peace in the truth of God's word.  All throughout Scripture God uses imperfect people!  I realize that I really don't have a whole lot of offer my daughter, however, God's Holy Spirit, who raised Christ from the dead, lives in me!  In him, I am more than capable of the task set before me!

"For in Him you have been enriched in every way - in all your speaking and in all your knowledge - because  our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you.  Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed" 
~ 1 Corinthians 1:5-7

As I reflect on the truth, suddenly I feel empowered!  In Christ, we are more than conquerors!

So here are some reminders for myself as I bring this little girl into the world, and train her up to be a woman who seeks the Lord.  

1) I am not perfect, and I will not pretend to be.  Although, I want to be the best role model for my daughter, she will also know that I make mistakes too.  I hope to model many things, but one of them will be a humble spirit.  I will be quick to admit when I mess up or when I am wrong, and I will not be ashamed to ask for forgiveness.

2) I am learning that the most important purpose in my life is simply to love - to love God, and love others!  I might not be able to do everything, but I CAN love!  I will strive to show my family that I love them, and I want to guide them in loving others.  In loving others we can show Christ to the world!

3) I may not have all the answers, but I can read through Scripture with my daughter.  I will make this a top priority.  My husband and I try to commit to being in the Word everyday.  Now my daughter will be included in this goal for our family.  I will make every effort to be in the Word myself everyday, and starting even now, I will read out loud to her each day.

4) Because I don't have all the answers whether it be theological or domestic, I will strive to create an atmosphere of learning.  Rather than lecture my daughter, I hope to develop a relationship with her which fosters dialogue.  I hope to teach her the beauty of being a lady by discussing our everyday activities, and learning together side by side.  I want our time of learning together to be an adventure, not merely a chore.  Our family is all about being joyful! One of the best ways I can teach my daughter is by being myself, having fun and creating memories together.  I will not let the pressure to be the perfect wife and mom take away from my ability to lighten up, laugh, and play!

5)  I will commit what I am doing to the Lord.  I will see my role as wife and momma to be my very highest calling!  I am not just raising children, but world changers!   This little girl is not mine to show off.  She is a child of God, and I am to guide her in following Him. When I get confused, lost, disorganized, overwhelmed etc. I will pray to God for wisdom, and my little girl will see this.  I will diligently seek His Word for answers, and I will share with my little girl how God is working in my life.