Dating, Courtship, and Our Story: Part 3

This is going to be my least favorite part of this series.  Today I will be writing about my experience with dating . . . to be honest, I don't even like to think about it!  However, for the purpose of explaining our thoughts on this subject, I think it's something I should share.  

Even prior to starting kindergarten, I was BoY cRaZy!  I am ashamed to admit this because it sounds so pathetic, but I was always on the hunt for a boyfriend.  The cuter the better!  It was as if having a cute boyfriend proved that I was a cute girl!  So I had numerous boyfriends when I was little, and I am pretty sure my first "unofficial" kiss was in the reading tent at school! No one ever said much about this, in fact my second grade boyfriend/girlfriend relationship lasted longer than all of my high school relationships combined!  Everyone just thought it was harmless, and cute.

Junior high rolled around, and boyfriends came and went.  No one expected these relationships to last, including me.  However, as my friends and I were learning about sex and the changes happening in our lives, it was fun to have a boyfriend!  It was a form of entertainment.  I remember these relationships more as friendships.  Although hand holding, hugs, dancing, phone calls, and one very awkward kiss did accompany the "friendship."  

As for high school . . .  My parents told me I could not "date" until I was 16.  This was frustrating since I had developed a crush on a boy who was a senior.  He moved on to other girls, and I got over it.  By sophomore year, it was on to someone new.  Crush after crush, a driver's license, the first serious relationship (by serious I mean, I really thought "who knows?  I could marry this guy!?"), a real first kiss in the basement of my parents house, and it wasn't be long before I was doing stuff which deep down I knew was wrong.  I say deep down, because I had only ever committed to not having sex before marriage. I didn't really read the Word or search it for wisdom at this point in my life.  However, I knew enough to know I wanted to wait for the person I was going to marry.  At this time, a boy probably could have convinced me he wanted to marry me just to "get in my pants", (for lack of a better phrase) and I might have given in.  Praise the Lord, God protected me from this!  Unfortunately, when the opportunities came about to progress past kissing, despite the inner convictions of the Holy Spirit, I justified the behavior as being a normal part of growing up.  After all, I wasn't having sex or sleeping around like some of my other friends.  Sadly, my standard was the world instead of God's Word.

As I grew closer to the Lord, I began to set my standards a little (very little) higher.  After the first heart wrenching break up, I was no longer naive to assume all nice guys are Christians.  I wanted to date someone who was committed to waiting until marriage, and I realized the most important relationship I had was with Jesus.  So I started reading the Word more, my faith grew, and the following relationships were with Christian guys . . .  but something was still wrong.  I was entering the relationships in order to get to know the other person.  As the relationship progressed, emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy brought us close together, but the commitment to marriage wasn't there.  It was simply a possibility.  Each time these relationships ended with heart ache, confusion, and disappointment.  As much as I wanted to be married, this process was just too hard!  For some reason that didn't stop me from dreaming about the possibility of finding that one guy meant just for me!

So I developed a crush on Skyler!  He was athletic, attractive, and a great man of character.  I discovered this because his sister and I were friends, and him and I had a few good conversations.  As we began talking more, I knew he was someone I would like to date.  Fortunately for me, he stepped up as my brother in Christ, and gave me the book "Choosing God's Best"!  As difficult as it was for me to realize this was a BIG FAT NO in regards to the question of us dating, what it became was so much more authentic and beautiful than I could have ever anticipated! :)

 . . . more to come on our courtship relationship in an upcoming post!

Read More From This Series:
Dating, Courtship, and Our Story:  Part 1 (A few thoughts on dating . . . ) 
Dating, Courtship, and Our Story:  Part 2 (Skyler's experience with dating in his own words . . . )