Last week, I focused on Getting Excited About Life with God! I can say that I spent more time in His presence than I have in awhile. Boy, did it feel good! More of Him and less of me is the recipe for a joy-filled life! The more I seek Him, the more I can't get enough of Him!
And now for this week . . .
Week Two: Get Excited About Life . . . as Husband & Wife !
This morning I woke up, and all I wanted to do was cuddle with my husband and tell him how much I adore him! I had this crazy dream that I was being forced to marry someone else, and I could never again be with Skyler! When I woke up and realized it was all a bad dream, I was so thankful and appreciative that God chose me to be the wife of this amazing man!
Some mornings I don't wake up with this realization! Some mornings, after being married just over two years . . . I rush around trying to get ready, I don't take time to make him breakfast or lunch, and I give him a quick kiss goodbye. When he calls after school, I am tired and don't have much to say. When I finally get home after my baton/dance/Zumba classes I complain about not having enough time to get everything done - house work, cooking, etc. Sometimes out of my frustration with the busyness, I get irritated at him. Silly things . . . like him playing the same song on the guitar over and over, and it's so loud I can't even be in the same room! I'll refuse to sing when he asks . . . cuz "it's a boy song, and I have other things I need to be doing. Geez!!! What a selfish wife I am some days!!!!
The sad part is . . . if I'm not careful, those "some days" will turn into "most days", and "most days" will turn into "always"! A great friend and mentor of mine once told me to think about what I want my marriage to look like ten years from now. So what do you want yours to look like? We have to start doing the work now, if we want to have a passionate and loving marriage in the future! Too often I take my husband for granted. So this week . . . I am going to refocus my priorities, and give my husband spot #2 in my life, after God of course!
I read this book, The Excellent Wife, with a group of ladies at my church while in college. (This is a great book by Martha Peace, and I highly recommend it. There is also a book called, The Exemplary Husband that I've heard is great as well). I remember, as an unmarried women, getting so excited about the chance to serve my husband! I had always dreamed about growing up and getting married. Learning about what it meant to be an excellent wife was so fun! I could not wait for the day I would be "Mrs. Powers"!
There is one section of the book in-particular that gave "Eighteen Ways a Wife May be the Glory of Her Husband". I am looking at the book right now, and I have it marked, highlighted, stared, and notes are all over the place! I was EXCITED! I wrote at the top, "I want to do this, to be the glory of Skyler"! Later I put, "How blessed am I!? I desire to do all this for Skyler - I can't imagine following any other guy!!" So this week, as I concentrate on getting excited about my marriage . . . I thought this list might be a good reminder of those little things that are so important!
Here it is (from Martha Peace's book, The Excellent Wife):
1. Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?"
2. Ask your husband, " How can I help you accomplish these goals?"
3. Ask your husband, "Is there anything that I can do differently that would make it easier for you?"
4. Be organized with cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, and cooking. As you fulfill your God-given responsibilities, your husband is free to do his work.
5. Save some of your energy every day for him.
6. Put him first over the children, your parents, friends, job, ladies' Bible studies etc.
7. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.
8. Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander him at all even if what you are saying is true.
9. Do whatever you can to make him look good, to accomplish his goals. Some examples are offer to run errands for him, organize your day to be available to help him with his projects, pray for him and make good suggestions. Give him the freedom not to use your suggestion, and do not be offended if he does not follow it.
10. Consider his work (jobs, goals, hobbies, work for the Lord) as more important than your own.
11. Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals. Examples are to get up early in the mornings to help him get off to work having had a good breakfast, take care in recording telephone messages for him, anticipate any needs he may have in order to attain a specific goal, and keep careful records of money spent to keep up with the budget.
12. Consider the things that you are involved in. How do they glorify your husband? Ask his guidance.
13. Be warm and gracious to his family and friends. Make your commitment to him obvious to them.
14. Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.
15. Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to your husband.
16. When your husband sins, reprove him privately and gently, always giving him hope and pointing him to the Lord.
17. Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry.
18. Realize that just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, your husband is glorified when you obey your husband.
Wow! Thank you Mrs. Peace! I needed these reminders!!
I've gotten so busy, that I haven't always put my husband above myself in life. I am sure some of you are so influenced by the feminism mindset in today's culture that the above statements make you angry. Well, it really comes down to putting our husband's before ourselves. Isn't that what love is? You know the command "consider others more important than yourself?" Shouldn't this start with our spouses - the ones we are supposed to love more than any person in the world? It may seem cheesy and 1950s to talk of serving our husbands, but sadly the same women who mock this are often the ones in marriages that are falling apart.
I'll admit that I understand the difficulty of trying to do all of these things, especially while working outside the home. I can't wait for the day when I will be able to stay at home, and I am blessed to have a husband who is supportive of this. However, I realize that some of you may not have that option, and at this moment, I myself do not have that option as I am in a teaching contract, and committed to the studio for the remainder of this school year. However, that does not mean I can't fulfill my God-given responsibility (and privilege) of putting my husband before myself.
This week, I am going to Get Excited About Life as a wife! I am going to focus on serving my husband, and putting him and his needs before my other commitments!
Ladies I challenge you to focus on prioritizing your husband this week! Love on him, then and be sure to come back and share how it went (well . . . you can leave out some of the more intimate details)!
P.S. Men, I know most of this post was dedicated to the wives, but here is a challenge to you from Skyler: Try to do more for her than she does for you! (always a competition with you guys! :)